


Conniving Cookie Thieves

by Q_it



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Cookies, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Merry Christmas, Mistletoe, pajama parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:44:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2785427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Q_it/pseuds/Q_it
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy's cookies keep disappearing and she's got a pretty good idea who the culprit is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conniving Cookie Thieves

It all started on Saturday morning, three days before Christmas when Darcy was in the kitchen, looking for the Christmas cookies she had made the night before.

It was a well known fact around SHIELD that for every holiday, Darcy Lewis would prepare her very special holiday cookies to bring into work. This year, she had slaved away making an array of little green Christmas trees and santa hats and little presents. But she couldn’t find them.

Every cookie she brought into work had been eaten, everyone in the office giving her compliments. Even Director Fury didn’t scowl at them after he took a bite.

But today was Saturday and the batch she made had been for Jane’s Christmas party this afternoon and she had only finished them last night before she went to bed.

Quickly, she called Jane. “Jane!”

_“Darcy, it’s six in the morning.”_

“Jane, my cookies are gone.”

_“Can this wait until, I don’t know, noon?”_

Darcy sighed as she heard the grumbling voice of Thor in the background. No wonder Jane was moody, she had interrupted early morning cuddles. “But my cookies! The one’s I was bringing to your party!”

 _“Wait, those cookies?”_ Jane seemed to wake up a bit.

“Yeah, have you seen them?”

_“No. Can you make more?”_

Groaning, Darcy pouted at the floor. “I guess. I just don’t know where they could have gone!”

_“I don’t know. I’m going back to sleep. I’ll see you later, kay?”_

Darcy opened her mouth to protest, but Jane had already hung up, no doubt caboodling with her god. Damn.

Frustrated, Darcy bustled around her apartment in her tank top and fuzzy green pajama bottoms, slaving away at making eight whole batches of cookies.

By the time she was done frosting the last batch, it was one in the afternoon and she was exhausted. Smelling like freshly baked goods and sugar, Darcy flopped down on her bed for a short nap before she had to get up and get dressed for jane’s party.

A couple hours later, she was rested, showered, dressed in a knee length red dress that hugged the curves of her body and displayed her assets nicely. She was about to text Jane that she would be to her apartment in Stark Tower in a few minutes when she stopped dead in her tracks.

The cookies.

All of the green ones were gone, leaving only the red santa hats and blue presents.

Angrily, Darcy searched her apartment, looking for a culprit. But everything seemed in order. Her door was locked from the inside and there was no cookie monster in her shower. So why were all her cookies being eaten!?

Irritated and confused, Darcy placed all of the remaining treats in a box to lug them off to Jane’s.

_Later that Evening…._

“Lady Darcy, I must say your cookies are delicious!” Thor complimented, biting down on his fifth Santa hat.

“Yeah Lewis, I could eat these forever. Will you be my caterer for all Stark official parties?” Tony asked, mouth full of a blue present.

Darcy laughed, glad that there had been enough despite the cookie thief. “Hey, if I’m ever running low on dough….”

The party was pretty chill. Tony had supplied them all with drinks and Jane and Thor’s apartment was more of a house in size, so there was plenty of space to get wild. Unfortunately, Darcy wasn’t feeling it. Her mind was still stuck on the darned Cookie Thief.

“Are you not enjoying the party, Miss Lewis?” asked a smooth cool voice from behind her.

Darcy jumped at first before realized who it was. “Hey Loki. It’s alright. What do you think? Pretty boring after the whole world domination thing, huh?”

“I suppose it is not bad for a midgardian celebration. I have seen worse.” He smirked at her as she began to gawk at his leather clad figure.

She and Loki had an interesting relationship. Darcy would stare at him from a distance and drool over his skinny leathery ass, sometimes they would talk and flirt, and then Loki would leave her contemplating some comment wondering whether it was a compliment or an insult.

“You know, it might be easier to pick up the ladies if you weren’t such an ass.” She pointed out, making a great effort not to peer down at his butt.

Loki drew back in mock surprise. “Where you staring at my ass, Miss Lewis?”

“Nope. Your ass was staring at me.” She said, winking suggestively.

Loki’s smile deepened as Darcy began walking away. He followed. “Possibly. I must ask, what troubles you this evening?”

Darcy stopped in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of red wine. “Not much. It’s just that my cookies have been disappearing. It’s driving me crazy.”

Loki’s eyes flicked to the now almost empty plates of pastries. “Well, they are quite delicious. You brought them to be eaten, did you not?”

Darcy shook her head. “No. I mean someone’s been stealing them from my apartment. Either that or I’m eating them in my sleep.”

“How unfortunate.” Loki purred, making it sound like he didn’t believe her situation to be that horrible at all.

They walked around the party a while, Darcy teasing Loki about his use of his ‘magic stick’ on various people when Loki stopped them.

“What?” Darcy asked, looking up at a leering God of Mischief.

Loki’s eyes stayed steady on hers. “We have walked under this plant.”

Darcy acknowledged the green leaves hanging from the ceiling. “Mistletoe. Yeah. Why?”

He pulled her closer by the hands. “Is it not customary for people to kiss when they walk under it?”

Darcy sputtered for a few seconds. “Uh…I…wouldn’t Erik be jealous that you’re offering up your disco stick to another?”

Loki sighed, pausing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You are not very good at detecting subtlety, are you?”

Finding her senses, Darcy eyed him, dragging her gaze down his body. “Well, I’m detecting something. I don’t know it it’s all that subtl—“

Her words were cut off by a kiss from SHIELD’s former most wanted criminal.

All things considered, Darcy didn’t mean to kiss him so vigorously. But man, that tongue…and those lips…and all that Loki was just too much. She raked her fingers through his hair and he held her closer by the waist, letting that Silvertongue do its business. The fast growing heat in her belly was increased by the delectable taste on his tongue. It tasted like…the green frosting she used on her Christmas tree cookies. Slowly she drew back, eyeing him suspiciously. “Loki…”

But he had already disappeared in a cloud of green smoke and a maniacal cackle.

Darcy stopped her foot, pouting and grumbling to herself about deceptive cookie stealers when she noticed the entirety of the party had stopped.

Everyone had halted their drinking and partying to stare at her alone under the mistletoe where she had previously been making out with the God of Mischief. “What are you staring at?! Go back to your knitting! He’s hot, alright!?”

Tony wolf whistled and Thor gave some embarrassing comment about how Darcy was to be his sister.

_Oh boy. This is going to be a looong night._

_Christmas Eve: 11:50 pm_

Darcy was waiting, wide awake in her bed. She had drunk four cups of coffee before going to bed and she was ready.

On her counter was one freshly made batch of Christmas tree cookies and she had some ideas about what magical deity was sneaking into her apartment and eating them.

Slowly, she stood up, her green Grinch pajama bottoms clashing with her purple t-shirt with the words ‘BAH HUMBUG’ stamped across the front. Carefully, she crept out of her bedroom, taser in hand, prepared to catch a sneaky leather clad God in her kitchen. When she got there, however, there was no god. Nor were there any cookies for that matter.

Darcy threw her hands in the air, prepared to curse the universe for all it had done wrong when a smooth honeyed voice sounded from her couch.

“What, by the name of Odin, are you wearing?”

Darcy snapped around to find Loki stretched out on her couch, a plate full of cookies in his lap.

“Loki!”

He sat there for a moment, finishing his cookie. “What?”

Darcy stammered, searching for her words. “You’ve been eating my cookies?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been breaking into my apartment, eating my cookies, then leaving while I sleep.”

Loki considered that, “I never broke anything.”

“Why!?”

He looked surprised. “I saw no need to ruin your things, I simply wanted—“

“Not why didn’t you break my stuff. Why are you stealing my cookies?” Darcy asked, crossing her arms.

Loki conjured a glass of milk and sipped it leisurely. “If I didn’t steal your cookies, then you would take them into SHIELD and the Director would eat all the green ones before I got the chance. He takes them all back to his office. It is too much work to steal them from his custody.”

Darcy sighed, resigning.  “You could have just asked me to make you some. I would have said yes.”

Loki looked up in shock, “You would do that?”

“Of course! Hell, I spend half the Christmas season making these damn things anyways!” She explained dramatically. Not that she wasn’t thrilled to pin Loki as the theif, but a girl typically hoped for magic princes to break into their apartments for things that didn’t involve stealing their deserts.

Swallowing another cookie, Loki stood up, setting the remaining cookies on the counter. “Thank you Darcy. They are a most delectable confection.”

The way he said those words made Darcy think about the damn Mistletoe at the damn Christmas party. But something dragged her back to the present moment. “You called me Darcy.”

“You sound so surprised.” He said stretching his arms and for the first time, Darcy noticed he wasn’t in his armor. He wore black linen pants and a matching green shirt. Also, his hair was loose and free, falling from its usual flippy gel-do.

Loki of Asgard, Mr. Burdened-With-Glorious-Purpose, in his pajamas.

“Yeah, well, I don’t usually have pajama parties with godly cookie thieves in the middle of the night.”

“Is that what you call these?” he gestured to her pajama pants, stepping closer. “Pajamas?”

The word sounded funny coming from Loki and she giggled. “Yes. And unless you plan on giving me an early Christmas present, go home.” She teased, eyeing him suggestively.

Loki grinned wickedly. “Perhaps I planned on giving you a present, Darcy Lewis.”

The tension between them was palpable and Darcy squirmed. “If that gift doesn’t involve your face and my –“

He stopped her words with a deep kiss and she once again tasted the frosting of her cookies on his tongue.

Pulling away too soon, Loki winked as the clock chimed Midnight. “Merry Christmas, Darcy.”

In a poof of green smoke he was gone.

As was the plate of cookies.

“Sneaky, sexy bastard.” Darcy muttered, shuffling back to her bedroom to attempt sleep.  

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote some fluffy stuff just for shits and giggles. Hope you all enjoyed my first bit of one shot!


End file.
